Saturday, 13 February 2016

With Help From A Marriage Counselor Arlington TX Couples Can Start Again

By Janet Wood


Families are the corner stones of society. It is within families that young people learn vital life skills and where respect for the rights of others are nurtured. Unfortunately, large numbers of families disintegrate each year. When parents divorce, everyone is affected, sometimes in a devastating manner. Problems within a family do not have to automatically mean a divorce, however. By seeing a marriage Counselor Arlington TX couples are often able to repair the damage.

In the past, divorce was seen as a very serious matter and it was not all that easy to achieve. Couples living together and raising families without being married was unheard of. Modern society is much more tolerant and this increased tolerance is one of the reasons why divorce has become so common. It is most certainly no shame to divorce and the laws governing the termination of such relationships have relaxed.

Experienced relationship therapists say that too many couples divorce without trying to save their families. It is especially children that can suffer extreme trauma when their parents separate, especially if the separation is acrimonious. Many couples agree to therapy simply to try and spare their children the trauma of a divorce and if there is a chance to save such a family it is certainly worth the effort.

Many couples also opt for therapy simply because they do not want to jeopardize the financial security of the family. Years of careful planning, saving and even sacrifice to establish financial security can be destroyed by an unnecessary divorce. Of course, financial security should not be the only motivation for trying to save a relationship but it can certainly make the parties think twice.

Couples in trouble should not try to save their relationships in isolation. The best course of action is to get help from a professional and experienced therapist. Without help the couple is unlikely to identify the issues that damaged the relationship in the first place and therefore unlikely to address the real and most important matters that may just save the relationship. An expert can help them to focus on what is important.

Experts agree that it is better to choose a therapist not previously know to either party. Both parties need to resolve to be totally honest with the therapist and with each other and to truly make an effort. It is also important to understand that no therapist can save a relationship. He can only act as facilitator and use his experience and training to steer the therapy sessions in the right direction.

Experts agree that not all failed relationships can be saved. In some cases, where one of the parties is aggressive, abuses substances or fail to care for the rest of the family it may be better to terminate the relationship. If their are children involved, then their safety, security and interests should be of prime importance. Experienced therapists will tell their clients when they think a relationship is beyond salvaging.

Where feasible, everything possible should be done to save a relationship. In many cases a qualified therapist can provide invaluable assistance. If this cannot be done the couple should at least try to agree to an uncontested divorce. Contested divorced are messy, open to public scrutiny and expensive. Uncontested divorces are private and more dignified.




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