A rapid end to lovemaking because of the man's lack of staying power can be very disappointing to a woman. No surprise that one of the most popular searches on the net is for tips to control male arousal! A quick ending to a couple's lovemaking can deny the woman the pleasure which she feels from giving herself to her partner. She will perhaps conclude that her lover either does not take her needs into account or that he is selfish. And a man who reaches climax too soon sometimes feels like he is a failure in bed.
As you can imagine, this is not constructive for the relationship, especially when the problem is never honestly discussed. In most cases, however, the fear and shame associated with sexual problems is hugely stressful, and the two partners often struggle on with this big problem continuing to erode respect and trust. If you recognize this, you may ask, what can be done? The reassuring thing is - you can indeed change things!
Step 1 - you must speak about it from your heart: in simple terms, this means you tell your partner what you are feeling. However, the fact is our research proves as few as one couple in ten are willing to talk about sexual problems. So, to help you talk freely about sex, we have some tips to guide you:
1) Talk about your feelings - please don't try the tactic of blaming your lover. Having the ability to listen openly without reacting emotionally means you probably will encounter much less stress - and your partner is probably going to be very much more willing to listen to what you want to say without judging you.
2) Don't project your feelings - having the courage to accept that you are in this together is required for healing mutual distrust. Only when you are able to understand that your partner's thoughts and feelings are an honest reaction to the challenges you face, and that they have a right to think that way, will you begin to value yourselves as you really are.
3) Don't engage in self-criticism. Action is more helpful. This may require getting the support of a couple's counselor. Or it may mean actions as easy as booking time each day to talk to your wife or husband about your worries.
4) If you have trouble discussing difficulties with your love life take the time to consider the things you wish to raise before you start. Being prepared is vital in getting the attention of your partner. It's also useful to know your boundaries in any discussion about sex. That way you will be very much more likely to achieve your goals.
5) Be clear about why you are raising the issue. It's often hard to have full awareness of what's causing our feelings, and it's likely you might only fully know the real issue as you discuss the issue. And, if you are certain what you want to change, you are much more likely to get it. The more honestly you show yourself, the more genuinely you talk about how you feel, the more intimate you will become as a couple.
Secondly, work as a couple on a trusted self-help program for treating male sexual problems. There are several to choose from on the internet and a brief search is often enough to discover something that is right for you. The vital features you ought to seek out are: honest references, a money-back guarantee, and an author who is willing to engage with you by email. I have proven in over 12 years' work men with sexual problems that self-help programs work just as well as clinical counseling for most men, so long as they are extremely eager to up their sexual performance.
As you can imagine, this is not constructive for the relationship, especially when the problem is never honestly discussed. In most cases, however, the fear and shame associated with sexual problems is hugely stressful, and the two partners often struggle on with this big problem continuing to erode respect and trust. If you recognize this, you may ask, what can be done? The reassuring thing is - you can indeed change things!
Step 1 - you must speak about it from your heart: in simple terms, this means you tell your partner what you are feeling. However, the fact is our research proves as few as one couple in ten are willing to talk about sexual problems. So, to help you talk freely about sex, we have some tips to guide you:
1) Talk about your feelings - please don't try the tactic of blaming your lover. Having the ability to listen openly without reacting emotionally means you probably will encounter much less stress - and your partner is probably going to be very much more willing to listen to what you want to say without judging you.
2) Don't project your feelings - having the courage to accept that you are in this together is required for healing mutual distrust. Only when you are able to understand that your partner's thoughts and feelings are an honest reaction to the challenges you face, and that they have a right to think that way, will you begin to value yourselves as you really are.
3) Don't engage in self-criticism. Action is more helpful. This may require getting the support of a couple's counselor. Or it may mean actions as easy as booking time each day to talk to your wife or husband about your worries.
4) If you have trouble discussing difficulties with your love life take the time to consider the things you wish to raise before you start. Being prepared is vital in getting the attention of your partner. It's also useful to know your boundaries in any discussion about sex. That way you will be very much more likely to achieve your goals.
5) Be clear about why you are raising the issue. It's often hard to have full awareness of what's causing our feelings, and it's likely you might only fully know the real issue as you discuss the issue. And, if you are certain what you want to change, you are much more likely to get it. The more honestly you show yourself, the more genuinely you talk about how you feel, the more intimate you will become as a couple.
Secondly, work as a couple on a trusted self-help program for treating male sexual problems. There are several to choose from on the internet and a brief search is often enough to discover something that is right for you. The vital features you ought to seek out are: honest references, a money-back guarantee, and an author who is willing to engage with you by email. I have proven in over 12 years' work men with sexual problems that self-help programs work just as well as clinical counseling for most men, so long as they are extremely eager to up their sexual performance.
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